Kingdom Hearts - Another Perspective
by Yoite212
Summary: A really really old parody I did of Kingdom Hearts which was only one chapter, simply because I used to hate Destiny Islands and would spend hours there training. Excuse my style of writing here, it is usually a lot more...professional? In lack of a better word anyway. This is freehand writing with no boundaries Hope you enjoy all the same It's designed to just make you laugh :)


Kingdom Hearts 1 Parody: Chapter 1 – Destiny Islands - Part 1

Once upon a time in a place called Destiny Islands where no destiny has ever been fulfilled there lived a boy called Sora, yes he is a boy by the way the rumours aren't true. Sora is a young boy who always gets bullied for having such big feet and for having a mother who nobody has ever seen before. Sora is madly (I mean stalking madly) in love with a girl called Kairi. Kairi is the most mental girl you would ever meet. She always goes on about leaving Destiny Islands to go to other "Worlds" so as you can already tell she has mental health issues (this has been diagnosed by many doctors all with the same results.) But Sora didn't care. "Not about being crazy, it's about looking cakey" is Sora's motto. Of course being the main character he had no chance with Kairi of course. (But he did get it off with loads of boys by order of Yaoi fan girls.) Instead, being the asshole he was, Sora's best friend Riku took her instead. Riku loves being the center of attention; he probably would throw a hundred Molotov's at a family house with children inside just to get the attention of an old granny who was deaf. He also always wore yellow tank tops just to show off his muscles all the time (COME GET IT LADIES). He also had a very annoying voice that sounded like Prince Charles the first. Sora was having another mental dream (where he landed on floating discs with Walt Disney characters on them and was battling enemies with the creative name "shadows" that were just black blobs with a key that somehow is a sword as well don't ask how that's possible? I'm sure those sort of dreams are normal though) which he should get checked in for when he woke up to Kairi creepily staring at his face like the stalker she is (probably was watching from afar before waking him up as well) disturbing Sora's happy moments that I'm sure boys could relate too. Of course Riku saw this happening and immediately slammed into Sora shouting "Get the **** away from my b**ch blood yeah! Before I merc ya you know" Then for no apparent reason Kairi screamed "LETS HAVE A RACE TOWARDS THAT SHED THAT SOMEHOW LEADS TO THE SEA!" Then Riku and Sora stopped fighting and had a random race that Sora lost even though he had feet the size of the BFG.

After Riku spent hours laughing at Sora, Kairi randomly screamed "Let's Build a raft that goes to other worlds!" And everyone was like "YAY!" Then afterwards Kairi of course went "Well I'm a non playable character so I guess you should get all of the supplies while I stand here blocking the way to the area you can't access yet" So while Riku somehow goes from being on the beach to being all the way over into some random square mountain with star fruit that is meant to make people full in love or something (*cough*drugs*cough*), Sora ran around gathering the supplies being everybody's slave as usual. Of course while this was happening Sora trained with the random Final Fantasy characters that mostly look NOTHING like Final Fantasy characters. So after beating the crap out of Wakka, him being the easiest to get experience from over and over again Sora decided to finally go get the supplies Kairi asked for about 8 saves ago. Sora got lots of complaints though because the coconuts he tried giving in apparently were not proper coconuts so Sora had to bash the short trees OVER AND OVER AGAIN until he got the correct coconuts. Also Sora had to use his ninja skills to get the fish using his hands somehow while Selphie laughed from the bridge waving her rope around that we COULD use as a fishing rod but why make things easier for us?

So after giving everything in to the lazy Kairi it was finally time to end this annoying day on Destiny Islands. But wait maybe Kairi isn't that bad of a person, she ACTUALLY gave Sora something. No it wasn't that, it was just a Hi-Potion people and a "Thank you." Awww how sweet. Hey hey hey wait a minute WHERE THE HELL DID KAIRI GET THAT HI-POTION FROM!

To Be Continued (comment, rate subscribe, oh wait this is not Youtube ^^;)


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